A New Me

I'm really horrible at keeping up with this whole blogging business. It's really hard to find time to write when you have 2 children under 2.

That being said, a lot is going on in my life right now. Grayson is now 4 months old and Cadyn will be 2 in a month. When they say treasure the moments because time goes by fast...they weren't kidding. Grayson is growing so much. He's gained 10 lbs since birth and apparently is super long for his age....where he got the height from...I'm still unsure. He's hitting all of his milestones regardless of being a month early. He's happy, easy going, & full of personality.

Cadyn...on the other hand is hyper, ornery, very loving, & smart as a tack. I know all parents say their children are smart...but really...he is. The boy already knows all of his animals and the sounds they make, colors, shapes, he can recognize the WHOLE alphabet, and can count to 14 and recognize the numbers too. He amazes me every day at all of the new stuff he has learned. He also has a very large vocabulary...even though I'm about the only person that can understand him :)

Ok...onto what this post was originally supposed to be about, but what kind of mother would I be if I didn't talk about my kids first? After I had Cadyn, I swore to myself that I would NOT get pregnant again until I had lost enough weight to be down to AT LEAST my prepregnancy size (which by the way was still WAY TOO BIG). I swore that I would not be one of those women who gave birth, didn't lose the weight, then had another child, and just gets bigger from there. Well....I did just what I said I wouldn't do. I still had 14lbs of baby fat and BAM...I got pregnant again. I did pretty good with the weight gain with Grayson...only put on about 17 lbs (30 with Cadyn), and after I had him the weight just seemed to start falling off. Then it just stopped. Last week I was at prepregnancy weight with Grayson....so here I am on this journey to start actually losing the weight...because obviously sitting around my house playing with my boys and snacking all day wasn't doing the trick. I'm on a strict 800 calorie a day diet. It really hasn't been as hard as I thought it was going to be....I guess because I'm just so motivated to do it. I finally just got so fed up with being fat. Let me give you a few reasons why being fat sucks...1) I HATE seeing people I know from when I used to be skinny. I know in the back of their heads they are judging me for gaining weight. 2) I HATE having to shop in specialty stores...I can't just walk into any store I want to and find a cute outfit. I have to go into plus size stores and even then, I never find anything cute because I just don't feel cute being fat. 3) I want my husband to be proud of me....yes, I know he loves me no matter what I look like, but I want to go out with him and be proud to show me off. 4) I just want to be healthy. 5) I want to be able to do things with my boys....being fat really slows you down and enables you to do A LOT of things.

I'm less than a week into my diet and have already lost 7 lbs. I'm really proud of myself and there is nothing more motivating then stepping on the scale and watching the number decrease. I am going to try to keep up with the blogging just for the sheer purpose of keeping myself accountable and also so I can look back and watch my progress. I'm trying to do things in short term goals....13 more lbs until my first goal is hit! Wish me luck!

Welcome, Grayson Timothy Gillispie!

Well this past weekend has been a crazy one for SURE. Grayson decided it was his time to come on out. I definitely was not expecting him this early, I mean, his room isn't even finished. I guess I will go ahead and tell you how my weekend went and about his birth. I will go ahead and put out a disclaimer because, I type like I talk and I spare no details. So, if you don't like gory details....go ahead and click the X at the top cause this blog is not for you.

We'll just start on Saturday (10-01-11) cause that's when the fun stuff happens.

I had stayed in Stillwater on Friday night with the Johnson crew. Hailey (Drew's little sister) had the state cheerleading competition in Stillwater on Saturday, so I thought I would go down a night early and hang out with Dusti just so I didn't have to wake up on Saturday and drive there. Plus, I figured that would be the last time I could do that before Grayson arrives...cause once he gets here, it is going to be rather difficult to just pack up and go stay the night with people. With Cadyn it works out great because him and Jayci play so good together.

So, on Saturday we went to the cheerleading competition. I was feeling very pregnant this day because of having to do so much walking...walking from the car to Gallagher- Iba and walking up and down the steps in the arena was a chore. While we were there I was talking to my aunts about how "I forget that Grayson could really come at any time, but I really don't expect him to come any earlier than the 24th (when we had the csection scheduled), plus, I'm not ready yet so he CAN'T come any earlier." After the competition, Cadyn and I headed back to Tulsa. We had Trey and Amanda's wedding shower that night and I still needed to go get them a gift. Cadyn and I spent all day shopping and running errands. I was feeling pretty good, not really any different than normal.

The shower started at 7 and we arrived at the house a few minutes early so I decided to just wait in the car until a few more people showed up. While I am sitting there, I felt a small pop and a small gush down below. At first I thought, I think I just lost my plug. I tried to determine what it was, but I couldn't really tell. About that time, Dusti and CJ pulled up (THANK YOU, BABY JESUS). As I got out of my car, fluid started pouring. I yelled at Dusti "WE HAVE A BIG PROBLEM! Either I just peed myself, or my water just broke." I really wasn't sure. Dusti was in shock. She tried to help calm me down cause by this time I was just slightly freaking out. We decided to just go inside, try to pretend like nothing had happened and change clothes (good thing I had stayed the night with her the night before, so I had extra clothes in the car). She told me that I would know in like 15 minutes whether or not it was my water, because of painful contractions. I went inside, changed my clothes and when I did, I noticed a little bit of blood in my underwear (gross I know), but this was a little more of an indication that it most likely was my water. I went out and told Dusti, and she said "let's call your dr and see what he wants to do". So I called and luckily, my dr, Dr. Nilson, was the one on call that night. I had to wait a little bit for him to call me back. While, I'm waiting I went out and was talking to people, trying to act as normal as possible, but while I'm talking, more fluid is coming out and I'm soaking my other pair of pants. All the while, I am trying to get in touch with Drew who is in Arkansas working. I tried to call him and when I hung up, I had a voicemail from Dr. Nilson! I guess while I was calling Drew, Dr. Nilson was calling me, so my phone didn't even ring. He sounded very irritated in his message. "This is the 6th time this weekend that this has happened. I'll call you back". My bad. I immediately called the hospital and luckily he called me back immediately and I explained to him what happened. He told me that indeed, it does sound like my water and that I needed to go in and at least be checked out. How could this be!? My husband is out of town and I can't get in touch with him, this CAN'T be happening now!

We went in and told Trey and Amanda that we would be leaving because my water just broke and that we would keep them updated. Dusti and CJ were so great, don't know what I would have done without them there. Dusti drove me & Cadyn, while CJ drove their car. She dropped me off at the emergency room and I went in and they directed me toward labor and delivery (she asked if I wanted a wheelchair, but I was too distraught and just wanted to walk). I went up to get admitted and while they were adding my info into the computer, Drew finally called. It was 8pm by this point and he said he would get there as quickly as he could...mind you he is 4 hours away, on the job. I told him I would try to get them to wait. Since I was having a repeat c-section, I don't really see why we couldn't wait until after midnight to do this.

Within just a few minutes, I was in a room. They just looked at my pants and said "ummm you don't need to be checked if that's your water....that's definitely your water." I sent a mass text to let people know it was time and to get to the hospital. I explained to my nurse that Drew was working out of state and if we could wait until he got there, that would be great. She left the room for a while and came back and said "9:30, Dr. Nilson doesn't want to wait any longer".....it was 9, by this time...that meant I had 30 minutes! I started bawling! I NEEDED my husband there! I sent Drew a text to let him know that he wasn't going to make it. He immediately called me and calmed me down. He was upset, but we are firm believers in "everything happens in God's perfect timing" so somehow I came to terms with the fact that he was going to miss it. The nurse came back in and told me that Dr. Nilson didn't realize that Drew wasn't there and was actually willing to wait, but they had already ordered the anesthesia so it had to happen then.

They told me to choose someone to go back to the Operating Room with me, at the time Dusti and Cj were the only ones that were at the hospital, but I knew Dusti would be amazing back there. I told the nurse that if my mom got there soon, then her, but if not, then Dusti would be my "baby daddy" for the night. She went and got Dusti and got Dusti her scrubs and soon it was time to go back and meet Grayson. They had warned me that they would be taking him to the NICU after birth because he was born before 36 weeks. It's a hospital policy. I was literally 35 weeks and 6 days...it was almost 10pm by this point and so I was only 2 hours away from being 36 weeks lol.

Once we got to the OR, I got my spinal block (ouch) and got me prepped for surgery. They brought Dusti in and we were ready to go. This experience was just so different than when I had Cadyn. This was just so pleasant and fun (would have been more fun had my husband been there), Dr. Nilson is hilarious and had me laughing the whole time. The anesthesiologist was also great, he explained every little detail of what they were doing as they were getting Grayson out. In no time, I heard that little cry. What an awesome sound! They didn't show him to me right away, but I did get a glimpse of how tiny he was. They quickly whisked him off to check and make sure that everything was ok with him. They went ahead and took Dusti so she could be in there while they were getting him cleaned up. Not too much later they brought him in to show me. He looked SO PERFECT...just tiny! They said that every thing looked great so far with him, but the reason he came today was that his umbilical cord was in a knot!

If he would have stayed in there any longer there could have been MAJOR issues.

About that time Dr. Nilson says "Alright, we are going in for baby #2" lol....WHAT!? He's such a goof. He got me all stitched up and they rolled me back to my room, where a small army had taken over. I had so many friends and family there! I am so loved :)

Grayson Timothy Gillispie was born on 10-01-11, at 10:11pm, 5 lbs 11 ozs, 18 inches long at 35 weeks and 6 days gestation. Drew finally arrived to the hospital at about 12:15 am. He was able to go down to the NICU and visit him. He said he was doing great and they just wanted to keep him over night to monitor him. It was 10:30am the next morning before I was able to hold Grayson, but what an amazing experience. He was just so tiny and perfect....spitting image of his big brother :)

This csection recovery has been SO MUCH BETTER than it was with Cadyn. 2 days post pardum is about where I was 2 weeks post pardum with Cadyn. I was scared about it, but it has gone great. Besides my husband not making it to the hospital, this has a been a dream delivery and post delivery. I couldn't have asked for anything better.

Over It!

We're getting closer and closer to Grayson's big day....countdown 25 days! I am so unprepared it's not even funny. I don't know what I will do if he decides to come early. Hopefully when Drew gets home next Tuesday we can get a lot of stuff done.

I finally got a dresser for his room, but it still needs to be sanded down and painted and new hardware added to it. I also got the toy box from my parents house which was used by me and both of my sisters when we were little, but it also needs to be painted and new hardware...I don't know how many times that thing's lid came down and busted me in the head, so I want to secure it a little better for my babies. The closet still needs to even be painted in that room...I was trying to go through his clothes, but that is kind of pointless right now because I can't even hang them up in his room. I was wanting to cover the car seat to match the new stroller (which we don't have yet either), but it looks as if that's really not gonna happen, being that I can't sew and can't find any premade that I like. We still need to get the name I made for the room hung up too....plus everything else that needs to go on the walls as well... Basically the nursery is NO WHERE near done! We even still need to buy Cadyn's toddler bed just so we can finally put the crib in Grayson's room. With Drew being gone every other week it makes it really difficult because I can't physically do most of these things without him...which gives me 2 full weeks left of him being home to get things ready. I sure hope we can do it.

It still blows my mind that there is about to be a newborn in the house. I'm really curious to see how Cadyn is going to react. I know he eventually will be an awesome big brother, but he is just so young right now, he doesn't understand that his life is also about to change. Although, he has been a little bit clingy lately so maybe he understands more than I realize. We talk about how there is a baby/or "bubba" in mommy's tummy, but when asked where bubba is he either will pat my belly or his own....so obviously he doesn't quite get it lol. He's very smart and is a little sponge, but 18 months is a little early to comprehend that there is a baby living in mommy's tummy and it is about to come out and turn your world upside down.

I am about getting to the point of not wanting to go into public anymore while pregnant. I can't go anywhere without people asking if I'm having twins or people telling me that this baby is going to be huge. It gets SOOOOO old haha. I try to have a good sense of humor about it, but when you hear the same things over and over and over again, it gets really annoying. Last appt. Grayson was weighing about 6 lbs....they gain about .5 a lb a week, which will put him at just under 8 lbs. Dr said that he probably will be a little bigger than Cadyn (7lbs 9 ozs), but most likely not over 8....which makes him an average size baby. So, when people tell me that it looks like the baby is going to be huge, it just means they are telling me that I'M huge....not a nice thing to hear. It doesn't help when you go to a restaurant and the host sits you in a booth that you can barely squeeze in to. By the end of dinner, I was miserably uncomfortable....time to start requesting tables.

Well, I think that might be enough complaining for now...I know that there is a lot more of that to be done in the next 3 weeks so I'll save some for later. Hope everyone is well!

It's Been a While

It has been quite a while since I last updated on here. It just so happens that being a mommy takes a lot of time. I am going to try and be better about updating, because I love looking back to what was going on and what I was thinking in the past. Also, what's a better way to keep a timeline of my children's lives than keeping a blog about them?

A lot has happened in the past year or so. We moved back home to Oklahoma in July of 2010. We lived with my parents until November (2010) and then lived with Drew's parents until March (2011). We had a house built out in Henryetta on 10 acres and until that was finished, we were nomads. We are finally all settled here and I LOVE it! We live off of the beaten path and out in the boonies and I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't wait until the boys are bigger and we can go "exploring" out on our land :)

In January, we found that we are EXPECTING again. It was exciting, but scary at the same time. Knowing that our little ones would be so close together (19 months) was a scary thought! The more I talked to people about it, who had children who were close in age, made the thought a little less scary. Everyone has told me that it's great and actually easier than spreading them apart. So, here I am almost 33 weeks pregnant and couldn't be more excited to meet our newest family member, Grayson Timothy Gillispie. 2 boys....I am SO outnumbered here :)

We still have quite a bit to do before he gets here. His room is NOWHERE near finished. The plan is to go buy the paint for his room this week. Luckily, we only have to paint one wall, the accent wall. When we first moved into the house I knew I was pregnant, but didn't know what I was having so we painted the whole room a neutral color and decided when it came time we would just paint one wall. Cadyn's room is done the same way....3 walls neutral and one wall a light blue. We are painting that wall in Grayson's room a mix between a royal blue and a navy blue....hopefully it turns out looking nice. The only thing we have for his room right now is the bed and bedding, but Cadyn is still currently sleeping in the crib so we still need to buy Cadyn his new big boy bed before setting up the crib in Grayson's room. Hopefully, that will be an easy transition. Cadyn is a very easy going little boy and hasn't had any problems when it comes to transitions. He thinks he is bigger than he is, so he will probably be SO PROUD when he gets his big boy bed....here's to hoping :) Here are the letters I have been working on for Grayson's room...

Cadyn is currently 17 months old and just an AMAZING little human being. He amazes me everyday. He is EXTREMELY smart and very advanced for his age. He has a vocabulary of over 100 words and can name most of the animals and tell you what sounds they make (which is hilarious), he knows all of his body parts & just learned yesterday how to count to 3 :) He makes me VERY proud. He's a very independent little guy, he loves nothing better than to just go in his room and play. He loves building things with his legos (which makes his daddy very proud....Drew has an obsession with legos himself lol), he loves reading books, & putting puzzles together. It's so neat to just watch him play...you can see the little wheels turning in his head when he discovers something new. I really can't wait to see how Cadyn is going to interact with Grayson, but one thing is for sure...he is going to be an awesome big brother.

This pregnancy has, so far, been a breeze. I am one of only 25% of women who do not get morning sickness in the first trimester....what a blessing! I had to get a new dr this go around since we moved, which was kinda stinky, because I looooved my dr I had with Cadyn. I chose Dr. Nilson because I had heard such great things about him from SEVERAL people. He has made this pregnancy fun...he's a trip. Not only has the pregnancy been easy, but it has also gone by SO FAST. I cannot believe that I am already almost 33 weeks. I guess when you are chasing a toddler around all day, you don't really have time to sit and just wait. It seemed like I was pregnant forever with Cadyn. The date for my csection has already been scheduled so I won't even have to sit around and wait and wonder when he will be here. Grayson will make his debut on October 24, 2011 and we will start around 7am. He is going to share a birthday with his Aunt Ashley :) I'm really thinking that time needs to slow down just a wee bit though, I don't know if I am quite ready to have a newborn around again.....guess I better get that way!

Cadyn is Here!

Sorry it has taken so long to get this posted...I started writing this a week and a half ago and haven't been able to finish until now...apparently being a mom is kind of demanding :)

I have been looking forward to writing this blog. I wanna get my whole experience written (or typed) down so I can always remember it. I don't know how explicit I'll get with this thing so if you are reading right now and you don't want to hear gory details...I suggest you click that little "x" up in the right corner of your screen...or for us mac users...the left corner. I'm a pretty honest person and don't really spare the details.....so don't say I didn't warn you.

Monday March 22, 2010

I had a dr's appt. at 11am. She wanted to check my cervix to see if I had dilated any. I had been stuck at 1cm for 3 weeks and if I hadn't made progress she wanted to go ahead and admit me to the hospital that night to get me started on some medicine to try to speed up the process for Tuesday. Honestly going into it I knew that I hadn't made any change. I had zero signs of labor coming soon. I was correct...no change what so ever. There I was 40 weeks pregnant and only 1cm dilated. How frustrating. She told us to just go home get ready and be at the hospital at 4pm to be admitted. It was kind of a weird day knowing that Cadyn would be here in less than 24 hours. We went home, ate some lunch, Drew went and bought brand spankin' new tires for our car (random I know, but we really needed them). By the time he got home it was time to go. We got to the hospital, got admitted and got our room. It was HUGE and really nice!

Once we got all situated and I got my gown on and crawled into bed the nurse (which by the way was AMAZING) came in and we started the whole process. They said that we would go ahead and get the Cervadil in, yes IN, I thought it was just going to be a shot...um no..Cervadil actually goes inside to sit near your cervix to try and soften and thin it. My cervix was no where near ready for delivery...it was still pretty thick and still waaaaay far back, so far back that it felt like she had to go elbow deep inserting the Cervadil. It wasn't very pleasant. This is all they were going to do for the night, I would get my IV and everything else in the morning, but for now they wanted the Cervadil to just sit and do it's job. So that night Drew and I just kinda hung out and watched tv and ordered some Chili's To Go for dinner. Both of our families drove up from Tulsa that night, they all got there a little late, but we were able to spend a little bit of time with them before we hit the hay for the night. I, surprisingly, was able to sleep really well being so anxious....ok on to the next day.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010 (Cadyn's Birthday!)

The nurses came in bright and early...about 5ish I believe...to take out the Cervadil and check and see if I had made any progress. If I rememeber correctly...I had thinned out quite a bit and had dilated to 2cm. It was time to get my IV going and get started on the Pitocin...after several attempts and busted veins they were finally able to get my IV and meds going. I believe family started arriving about 7-7:30. I was having contractions about 2-3 minutes apart, but they weren't anything too intense yet. I could feel them, but they didn't hurt. My dr. came in at about 8 or so to break my water. All the nurses kept talking about how they thought that I had a lot of fluid, this is WHY my belly got SO big...it's not because Cadyn was huge...I just had A LOT of amniotic fluid. When she broke my water I seriously thought that I was going to flood the room! Holy cow...weirdest feeling EVER. It just kept gushing and gushing...feels like you are peeing, but have absolutely no control over it. Even after a while, everytime I moved more would come out...so weird. They say this is when contractions start getting really intense...about 5 minutes after my water was broken, my nurse was in the room and asked how my pain was, I told her that it wasn't too bad, but I could tell that the contractions were starting to get more intense and she said "ok I'm gonna go ahead and get that Epidural ordered, might as well not wait until they get really bad" So just a little bit later the anethesesiologist came in and gave me my epidural. It did sting a little bit at first, but it definitely wasn't too bad AT ALL. This labor stuff was SO EASY! I hadn't been in pain at all really! At about 9:30 they came back in to check to see if I had made any progress. I was at 4cm!! SWEET! I was making awesome progression. The rest of the day was just kinda sitting and relaxing and hanging out with my family. At 1:30 or so my Dr. came back to see where I was....still at 4cm. So I hadn't changed at all. By this point it was starting to look pretty grim on the vaginal birth. My dr. knows my family history. No one in my family has had a vaginal birth...it's just like we can't dilate. My dr. had said that if it looks like I'm just not making progression then I'm not gonna labor forever that we would just do a c-section. She said she would be back at 3:15 to check me again and if I still hadn't changed then we would go ahead and do a csection. So at 3:15 she comes back in and sticks her hand up there....yup still a 4....plus the baby's head is starting to get a cone on it cause it's trying to decend into the cervix, but isn't going anywhere. She tells me it's still going to be a little bit though because there was someone getting ready to go into the OR to have twins. At about 5ish they finally rolled me down to the OR to get me all prepped and ready. Everything was ready and it was almost time. They brought Drew in and sat him in a chair right next to my head. We asked each other "are you ready for this?" obviously, we were both more than ready to meet our little Cadyn. It seemed to take foooorever for them to get him out. As soon as he was out, I could hear his cries. They brought him over and showed us...OMG I am a mom. They took him and cleaned him off real good and Drew was able to get him and bring him over to me. I cannot explain what was going through my mind or the feeling I felt when I saw him. I immediately started boohooing.

He was gorgeous! All the worrying for 9 months whether or not he would be healthy and wondering what he would look like, was over. He's here and absolutely perfect. They quickly took him away and Drew was able to go to the nursery with him and get him weighed (he was 7 lbs & 9 ozs and 19 inches long) and get his first bath. While all of that was going on I was still on the OR table getting put back together. Just a little bit after Drew left I started feeling A LOT of pain. My anesthesiologist was standing behind me and I was barely able to get out "is it normal for me to be feeling all this pain?" As soon as I said that, he injected me with something and I was out like a light. Next thing I remember, I wake up and I'm being rolled back to my room. Once I was in there the nurse started pushing around on my stomach!! Apparently they have to do this, but I have never felt anything so excruciating! I mean I just had major abdominal surgery and here they are pushing around on my belly...ouch. I was crying...which I DO NOT do out of pain...I can't stand for people to see me in pain. At this point I was only able to have 1 person at a time in my room, so obviously Drew was the first person to see. I'm sure he hates seeing me like that, but this was just such an exciting time. Next was my dad, my dad came in and bent down and kissed me and told me I did good, how proud he was of me, and how beautiful and perfect Cadyn was, all the while with tears in his eyes....it was a very special moment. I was able to see each one of my family members as well as Drew's family, which I love just as much as my own. Finally, they brought Cadyn down to the room...I could barely hold him I was in so much pain. The nurse came in and asked if I wanted some Demerol to help me get some sleep. YES PLEASE....when she gave me the medicine, I instantly was slurring my words....It made me feel like I was really drunk. I think I said "I'm drunk" about a hundred times. I finally fell asleep and when it was time for bed, Drew went ahead and sent Cadyn back to the nursery so he could get some sleep as well.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The next day the family came back up to the hospital to spend some time with us and see Cadyn. The nurse came in and told me that they would be getting me up to shower after lunch to get me moving. The more you move, the faster you get better. So after the family had left, it was time to get up....ugh. They had to of course take out the IV and remove the catheter, taking out the catheter meant, that when I had to go to the bathroom, I HAD to get up, which meant that I was going to be in pain. Getting out of bed was definitely a major task....I could barely move. I felt like an old woman. I finally was able (with the help of 2 nurses) to get into the shower....and it was not a very warm shower at that because they didn't want it too steamy in there because they didn't want me passing out. Well, it didn't really matter if it was hot or cold...I almost went down anyway. I looked at my nurse and told her that I was feeling light headed so she told me to sit down. As soon as I sat, my hearing went out, my face turned white and my lips turned blue. The nurses were fanning me like crazy. My hearing started to come back and I guess I turned a normal color, so everything was fine. Thank God I didn't actually pass out cause if I would have went down I don't think I would have been able to get up. The rest of the day I spent trying to move around as much as I could, even though it hurt. I was able to sit in the rocking chair and REALLY hold Cadyn for the first time. It was like heaven having that little boy on my chest snuggling up to me. You truly never understand how much your parents love you until you have one of your own. This moment was one of the best moments in my life.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Early in the morning my doctor came in and checked everything and told me that she was going to leave it up to me on if I wanted to go home that day or wait until the next. Of course, I wanted to go home. I just knew I would feel better in my own home. When it was time to go, Drew got Cadyn all dressed and put in his carseat....he looked so cute!

Getting in our car was kind of hard. I could barely lift my legs and since we drive an SUV it was definitely difficult to get in. After a very painful, bumpy car ride, we finally made it home.

After 2 weeks, I am still recovering from my csection, but am leaps & bounds better than I was at the beginning. Cadyn is such a good baby. He sleeps almost all the way through the night and only really cries if he is dirty or if he's hungry. He is very alert and will just stare deep into your eyes....makes my heart melt. He is starting to look more and more like his daddy, with my nose and my little ears. Watching Drew with him makes me love Drew even more. He loves this baby more than words can say. He has helped SO much with him and I know that there is NO WAY that I could have done this without him (hats off to all the single mothers out there). My life has done a complete 180 in the past 2 years and I couldn't be happier. I love being a mommy!

48 Hours

Well, in 48 hours (give or take a few) Cadyn will be making his debut into the world. It's starting to become a little surreal. He has been living inside my tummy for 9 months now and I am more than ready to have him in my arms. It has been a long 9 months...most people say "it'll go by so fast"...they are a bunch of liars. These last couple of months have been the longest 2 months of my life and I am so glad they will be over soon! I'm ready to feel NORMAL again! This kid is super heavy!

As soon as I hit 37 weeks I was doing everything short of drinking castor oil to get this child out of me. There are many old wives' tales about things to jump start labor....if there are any preggos reading this right now...take head...THEY DON'T WORK! Nothing works unless your body is ready! So don't waste your time. I tried "walking him out" so much...all it did was put me into false labor and cause me to have painful contractions that did nothing to help dilate me.

So here I sit, I'm 40 weeks pregnant today and I have no signs of laboring anytime soon on my own. I am so thankful my Dr. has decided to induce me, I'm not sure how much more I can handle while keeping my sanity. I am glad there has been a set schedule though that way family, who live 4 hours away, were able to make plans to come here and be with me.

(Here is where I will be giving birth to beautiful baby Cadyn)

I have a dr's appointment tomorrow morning so she can check my cervix to see if I've made any progress over the past week...if I haven't made much progress then I will be put in the hospital tomorrow night to start me on some meds. She said I won't technically be "in labor" Monday...just trying to get the process going so it will make for a shorter day on Tuesday. They are gonna start the pitocin and break my water at approx. 4am on Tuesday morning and then off I go! I can't wait until I get to hold him...and fix his hair (he's bound to have a lot), and dress him, and smootch on him.....you get the picture....I'm really excited!

I will for sure have an update later this week with pictures galore!

Countdown

As of tomorrow, I am 38 weeks pregnant. This last month has really dragged. I really thought that Cadyn was going to make his debut around this time, but it seems as if he is being stubborn. I shouldn't really be surprised being he has been stubborn throughout this whole pregnancy...he made me wait FOREVER to find out that he was a boy!

It makes things even harder when I am just so uncomfortable, my skin is absolutely stretched to the max....once I'm finished having all my kids, I'm going to need some major reconstructive surgery haha! I just feel like a whale...I have put on 36 lbs....I was doing SO GOOD and these last 2 months I have really ballooned! I have the classic pregnant woman swollen face going on, looks like I'm storing nuts for the Winter. The worst part is going in public, I have gotten to the point where I don't want to go anywhere because I am so sick of people talking to me about it. I know that sounds rude, but I really can't help it. I can't go ANYWHERE without people asking me if I'm having twins.....NEVER EVER EVER ask a pregnant woman that!!! It's just rude! You may not think it sounds all that bad, but you are basically are just telling me that I look twice as big as I should....I get it, I am huge. You would think that someone who has had a kid would know this, but I have had mom's ask if it was twins and when I say no, they say "it must be a boy then....my son did that to me too, I was huge" Just because you've been through it, doesn't give you the right to call me huge. UGH! I'm also paranoid when we go to restaurants, I'm so afraid they are going to take us to a booth that I'm not going to fit in....how embarassing would that be!?

Anyway, I had a dr's appt. today. I haven't really make any progress, but we scheduled a day for induction! YAAAAY! Cadyn will be here no later than March 23rd! Even though I really would love for him to come sooner...it makes me feel 100 times better knowing that he will at least be here in 12 days! I am going to stop wishing and hoping that he will be here sooner (I have been driving myself crazy doing that). I can officially just start counting down now. This also makes things a little easier for the family. We live 4 hours away from everyone so now they know exactly when he'll be here and can schedule around it. Obviously there is still a chance he could be here before the 23rd, but I really doubt it. I was getting a little worried that I would go past my due date (the 26th) and not be able to go to Tulsa for Easter....it will be our first trip with him...yes he won't be very old, but we for sure want to be with the family and go to church on Easter Sunday...plus we already bought a super cute outfit for him :)

Anyway, that's my update...countdown 12 days!