Sorry it has taken so long to get this posted...I started writing this a week and a half ago and haven't been able to finish until now...apparently being a mom is kind of demanding :)
I have been looking forward to writing this blog. I wanna get my whole experience written (or typed) down so I can always remember it. I don't know how explicit I'll get with this thing so if you are reading right now and you don't want to hear gory details...I suggest you click that little "x" up in the right corner of your screen...or for us mac users...the left corner. I'm a pretty honest person and don't really spare the details.....so don't say I didn't warn you.
Monday March 22, 2010
I had a dr's appt. at 11am. She wanted to check my cervix to see if I had dilated any. I had been stuck at 1cm for 3 weeks and if I hadn't made progress she wanted to go ahead and admit me to the hospital that night to get me started on some medicine to try to speed up the process for Tuesday. Honestly going into it I knew that I hadn't made any change. I had zero signs of labor coming soon. I was correct...no change what so ever. There I was 40 weeks pregnant and only 1cm dilated. How frustrating. She told us to just go home get ready and be at the hospital at 4pm to be admitted. It was kind of a weird day knowing that Cadyn would be here in less than 24 hours. We went home, ate some lunch, Drew went and bought brand spankin' new tires for our car (random I know, but we really needed them). By the time he got home it was time to go. We got to the hospital, got admitted and got our room. It was HUGE and really nice!
Once we got all situated and I got my gown on and crawled into bed the nurse (which by the way was AMAZING) came in and we started the whole process. They said that we would go ahead and get the Cervadil in, yes IN, I thought it was just going to be a shot...um no..Cervadil actually goes inside to sit near your cervix to try and soften and thin it. My cervix was no where near ready for delivery...it was still pretty thick and still waaaaay far back, so far back that it felt like she had to go elbow deep inserting the Cervadil. It wasn't very pleasant. This is all they were going to do for the night, I would get my IV and everything else in the morning, but for now they wanted the Cervadil to just sit and do it's job. So that night Drew and I just kinda hung out and watched tv and ordered some Chili's To Go for dinner. Both of our families drove up from Tulsa that night, they all got there a little late, but we were able to spend a little bit of time with them before we hit the hay for the night. I, surprisingly, was able to sleep really well being so anxious....ok on to the next day.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010 (Cadyn's Birthday!)
The nurses came in bright and early...about 5ish I believe...to take out the Cervadil and check and see if I had made any progress. If I rememeber correctly...I had thinned out quite a bit and had dilated to 2cm. It was time to get my IV going and get started on the Pitocin...after several attempts and busted veins they were finally able to get my IV and meds going. I believe family started arriving about 7-7:30. I was having contractions about 2-3 minutes apart, but they weren't anything too intense yet. I could feel them, but they didn't hurt. My dr. came in at about 8 or so to break my water. All the nurses kept talking about how they thought that I had a lot of fluid, this is WHY my belly got SO big...it's not because Cadyn was huge...I just had A LOT of amniotic fluid. When she broke my water I seriously thought that I was going to flood the room! Holy cow...weirdest feeling EVER. It just kept gushing and gushing...feels like you are peeing, but have absolutely no control over it. Even after a while, everytime I moved more would come out...so weird. They say this is when contractions start getting really intense...about 5 minutes after my water was broken, my nurse was in the room and asked how my pain was, I told her that it wasn't too bad, but I could tell that the contractions were starting to get more intense and she said "ok I'm gonna go ahead and get that Epidural ordered, might as well not wait until they get really bad" So just a little bit later the anethesesiologist came in and gave me my epidural. It did sting a little bit at first, but it definitely wasn't too bad AT ALL. This labor stuff was SO EASY! I hadn't been in pain at all really! At about 9:30 they came back in to check to see if I had made any progress. I was at 4cm!! SWEET! I was making awesome progression. The rest of the day was just kinda sitting and relaxing and hanging out with my family. At 1:30 or so my Dr. came back to see where I was....still at 4cm. So I hadn't changed at all. By this point it was starting to look pretty grim on the vaginal birth. My dr. knows my family history. No one in my family has had a vaginal birth...it's just like we can't dilate. My dr. had said that if it looks like I'm just not making progression then I'm not gonna labor forever that we would just do a c-section. She said she would be back at 3:15 to check me again and if I still hadn't changed then we would go ahead and do a csection. So at 3:15 she comes back in and sticks her hand up there....yup still a 4....plus the baby's head is starting to get a cone on it cause it's trying to decend into the cervix, but isn't going anywhere. She tells me it's still going to be a little bit though because there was someone getting ready to go into the OR to have twins. At about 5ish they finally rolled me down to the OR to get me all prepped and ready. Everything was ready and it was almost time. They brought Drew in and sat him in a chair right next to my head. We asked each other "are you ready for this?" obviously, we were both more than ready to meet our little Cadyn. It seemed to take foooorever for them to get him out. As soon as he was out, I could hear his cries. They brought him over and showed us...OMG I am a mom. They took him and cleaned him off real good and Drew was able to get him and bring him over to me. I cannot explain what was going through my mind or the feeling I felt when I saw him. I immediately started boohooing.
He was gorgeous! All the worrying for 9 months whether or not he would be healthy and wondering what he would look like, was over. He's here and absolutely perfect. They quickly took him away and Drew was able to go to the nursery with him and get him weighed (he was 7 lbs & 9 ozs and 19 inches long) and get his first bath. While all of that was going on I was still on the OR table getting put back together. Just a little bit after Drew left I started feeling A LOT of pain. My anesthesiologist was standing behind me and I was barely able to get out "is it normal for me to be feeling all this pain?" As soon as I said that, he injected me with something and I was out like a light. Next thing I remember, I wake up and I'm being rolled back to my room. Once I was in there the nurse started pushing around on my stomach!! Apparently they have to do this, but I have never felt anything so excruciating! I mean I just had major abdominal surgery and here they are pushing around on my belly...ouch. I was crying...which I DO NOT do out of pain...I can't stand for people to see me in pain. At this point I was only able to have 1 person at a time in my room, so obviously Drew was the first person to see. I'm sure he hates seeing me like that, but this was just such an exciting time. Next was my dad, my dad came in and bent down and kissed me and told me I did good, how proud he was of me, and how beautiful and perfect Cadyn was, all the while with tears in his eyes....it was a very special moment. I was able to see each one of my family members as well as Drew's family, which I love just as much as my own. Finally, they brought Cadyn down to the room...I could barely hold him I was in so much pain. The nurse came in and asked if I wanted some Demerol to help me get some sleep. YES PLEASE....when she gave me the medicine, I instantly was slurring my words....It made me feel like I was really drunk. I think I said "I'm drunk" about a hundred times. I finally fell asleep and when it was time for bed, Drew went ahead and sent Cadyn back to the nursery so he could get some sleep as well.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The next day the family came back up to the hospital to spend some time with us and see Cadyn. The nurse came in and told me that they would be getting me up to shower after lunch to get me moving. The more you move, the faster you get better. So after the family had left, it was time to get up....ugh. They had to of course take out the IV and remove the catheter, taking out the catheter meant, that when I had to go to the bathroom, I HAD to get up, which meant that I was going to be in pain. Getting out of bed was definitely a major task....I could barely move. I felt like an old woman. I finally was able (with the help of 2 nurses) to get into the shower....and it was not a very warm shower at that because they didn't want it too steamy in there because they didn't want me passing out. Well, it didn't really matter if it was hot or cold...I almost went down anyway. I looked at my nurse and told her that I was feeling light headed so she told me to sit down. As soon as I sat, my hearing went out, my face turned white and my lips turned blue. The nurses were fanning me like crazy. My hearing started to come back and I guess I turned a normal color, so everything was fine. Thank God I didn't actually pass out cause if I would have went down I don't think I would have been able to get up. The rest of the day I spent trying to move around as much as I could, even though it hurt. I was able to sit in the rocking chair and REALLY hold Cadyn for the first time. It was like heaven having that little boy on my chest snuggling up to me. You truly never understand how much your parents love you until you have one of your own. This moment was one of the best moments in my life.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Early in the morning my doctor came in and checked everything and told me that she was going to leave it up to me on if I wanted to go home that day or wait until the next. Of course, I wanted to go home. I just knew I would feel better in my own home. When it was time to go, Drew got Cadyn all dressed and put in his carseat....he looked so cute!
Getting in our car was kind of hard. I could barely lift my legs and since we drive an SUV it was definitely difficult to get in. After a very painful, bumpy car ride, we finally made it home.
After 2 weeks, I am still recovering from my csection, but am leaps & bounds better than I was at the beginning. Cadyn is such a good baby. He sleeps almost all the way through the night and only really cries if he is dirty or if he's hungry. He is very alert and will just stare deep into your eyes....makes my heart melt. He is starting to look more and more like his daddy, with my nose and my little ears. Watching Drew with him makes me love Drew even more. He loves this baby more than words can say. He has helped SO much with him and I know that there is NO WAY that I could have done this without him (hats off to all the single mothers out there). My life has done a complete 180 in the past 2 years and I couldn't be happier. I love being a mommy!